March is one of those limbo months with no real holidays. Well, there is St. Patrick’s Day, but it’s hard to justify taking off work so you can drink green beer, ya know?
But why stop at green beer?
I like to take the whole Irish theme one step further and use GREEN LUBE. Sure! Who doesn’t want the luck of the Irish easing their intercourse as your plunge your little leprechaun into your woman’s pot of gold?!
But fair warning: Make sure you tell her first. A few years ago I thought it would be “cute” to just slip green food dye in my normal lube. After my partner and I “finished” I told her to look down.
Instead of smiling at my clever holiday spirit, she saw the green goo dribbling down her leg and ran screaming and naked out the front of our house.
FYI, the same holds true if you use red food dye on Valentine’s day.