2010 in Review

Before starting my year-in-review, I need to preface it with something.
See, my 2010 actually started in November 2009 at an all-inclusive resort in Playa Del Carmen, the Mexican Riviera.
nov 2009 - playa del carmen

I had forgotten my Serzone (depression/anxiety medication) that I’d been on for over a decade. And just like that, without intending to, I set the tone for the entire year to follow.
I had tried to come off many times before with terrible results. I braced for the mental struggles to come.
But they never did.

After years of work and spiritual practice, my brain was apparently firing differently than it once did. The drugs were a huge help to me, and I reserve the right to go back at any time, but ever since that weekend in Mexico, I have been off prescription drugs.

Since I was free of my pharmaceutical crutch for the first time in 12 years, I wanted to start the new decade free from my “persona” crutch, as well. So the week before 2010 started, on the night of the winter solstice, I shaved my head.
After 6 years of having bright pink hair, I cut it all off.
I started 2010 reborn and raw.

raw headed

2010 Highlights:

  1. Learned a bunch about myself without the pink.
  2. Attended the magical “Fuente Eterno” gathering and skipped SXSW for the first time.

  3. Attended Lightning in a Bottle Festival, Elysium, & San Diego Decom

  4. Fell in love with Blicious.

  5. When The HugMobile broke down and needed a new engine…the community flooded me with Love…and $5000.
  6. Re-pinked my hair.
  7. Officiated a traditional wedding in San Diego & a non-traditional one at Burning Man.
  8. Participated in my 13th Burning Man.

  9. Lots of amazing Uncle Time.

  10. Lots of fun times with my folks.
    Family Sandwich

  11. Published my first book, “Love more. Fear less.”
    Love more fear less, Float more steer less

  12. Got an awesome 2 day/week gig at MySpace
  13. Recorded 13 episodes of “Belief Buffet: Conversations” with Dmitry Shapiro. (And countless non-recorded mind-bending convos.)
  14. Broadcast a live HugNation every freakin’ Tuesday. Started doing some Happy Hour and Sunday broadcasts, too. Posted hours & hours of edited archive footage.
  15. Hosted a Monthly “Burner Brunch” – every 1st Sunday.
  16. Participated in an Ayahuasca Ceremony.
  17. Met twice a month with my life coach & Listened to every Sunday lecture by Jacob Glass.
  18. Started a monthly “Help The Homeless” event with Jason.
    Our 11th outing (Dec’s) attracted 45 big-hearted participants who helped out countless people in need.

  19. Spent LOTS of energy (and connected with lots of people) on Facebook.
  20. Froze some sperm & got a vasectomy.
  21. Posted my Top 10 oddest achievements.
  22. Loved deeply.

Life just gets better and better.
The Now feels more and more miraculous.
My sense of Awe deepens.
My gratitude soars.
My heart continues to expand.
Thank you for being a part of the journey.

-john halcyon styn
self hug
(book & LiB photos by Mike Hedge

Facebook made me its bitch.

I love Facebook.
Too much, I would say.
I have put almost all the energy into FB that I used to put into my personal URL, twitter, Flickr, YouTube, etc..
Tonight I got a harsh wake-up call to the power I have handed over to a single website.
Tonight I found my account was disabled.
There was no personal notification, just a link to the FAQ.

I can only guess that maybe there was some side-boob or nipple in a Burning Man photo. But I really don’t know.
It’s a shame that the social network that is becoming ubiquitous feels that my lifestyle is too risque. I feel like I’m an asset to the community and I love the tools… but maybe this wake-up call is just what I needed.

***UPDATE*** I have been reactivated.

My FB account was deactivated yesterday due to sexually suggestive photos. I have been allowed to return with the promise that I will de-sexify my Facebook presence. Ironic that last week I had a vasectomy…then this week I lost my Facebook. For a day I was both physically sterile & digitally impotent.

**UPDATE 2**

My Pages (like facebook.com.hugnation) are all offline.

**UPDATE 3 **

I think all is back to normal… but I’m still way too sexy.


Hi John,

Your account was suspended because you uploaded photo content that violated Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities. This content has been removed from the site.

After reviewing your situation, we have reactivated your account. You will now be able to log in. For technical and security reasons, Facebook cannot provide you with a description or copy of the removed content.

Please review the guidelines below to prevent your personal account from being disabled in the future:

• Do not send messages or post photos that contain nudity, graphic or sexually suggestive content.

• Remove any remaining photos of this kind that you have uploaded on the site.

For more information on conduct that is prohibited by Facebook, please read our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities, which can be accessed by clicking on the “Terms” link at the bottom of any Facebook page.

We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your cooperation going forward.

Thanks for your understanding,

User Operations

Wikileaks, 4Chan, & the Fate of the World

It is like a John Grisham movie.
Whistleblower shares secrets that show high level corruption. Government and Corporations work to destroy him. They take away his ability to travel, access to money, access to servers. Basically they make him impotent and discredited.
Sounds like any number of Hollywood movies. (Of note, we are generally rooting for the on-the-run fugitive. “Give ‘em hell, Jason Bourne!”)
We can only assume (or “know” depending on what sources you trust) that this is more or less how the dirty underside of conspiracies works in the real world, too.
But something really interesting has happened.
First of all, Wikileaks is not a whistleblower. It is a tool to facilitate the sharing of secrets. It is a game-changing philosophy of eliminating the ability to conspire. If you shine lights on all the dark corners, there is no place to conspire in secret. The system cannot function as it did if a tool like this exists. It is the wrench in the gears of “business as usual.”
Even so, the leader of Wikileaks has been targeted as the source of the problem. Therefore the technological assets and personal leader of the group have been arrested.
And here is where it gets realllly interesting.
Frustrated web communities have joined the fight.
Loosely networked online “hacktivisits” (like 4chan & Anonymous) have sided with the whistle blower and the world’s right to access information. So they have started attacking the corporations that do the system’s bidding. Mastercard, the dns provider, and other companies that have dropped service to Wikileaks are being targeting by DDOS attacks by these underground virtual organizations.
This is a whole new battleground. It is not nations battling nations. Or corporations fighting corporations. It is networked individuals fighting BOTH nations AND corporations. The stakes? Not money or wealth or power…but information.
We live in fascinating times.